On my third lap I got a pretty fast start into the BMX course, but only made it over the first ramp before crashing into the ground. I remembered the rear of my bike lifting up behind me as I started the descend from the first riser, and then the ground came rushing up into my face.

I say I remembered because I do not anymore. I know I told the people around me about what happened, but right now my memory from the moment of impact to maybe 10-15 minutes after is kind of, well, absent. I’m pretty sure I didn’t black out at any point.

My helmet was pretty thoroughly smashed, and I’ve got some healthy road rash along my right flank. I’ve been told that after I dragged myself out from under my bike and off the course I started saying “my head feels really loud”. My brain and my skull had a little fight.

When I got home a few hours later my head felt a lot better, but it still seemed as if my skull was one or two sizes too small. I took a shower to wash the dirt out of my cuts and scrapes, and found them to hurt something awful. I’ve never had to scrub out such a large abrasion before, and I hope I never have to again.

When she heard that I was experiencing memory loss Xue, being a neuroscientist who likes me, told me that I needed to go to the hospital. I checked myself in and within an hour or two I was being carted down to Radiology for a CT scan.

MY BRAIN IS FINE THANKS

Now I just need to get myself a new helmet and for this damned road rash to heal up.

This morning I scrambled three eggs with some cheese, made two pieces of toast, and sliced up a big orange. I bought five pounds of oranges at the market last Saturday and I don’t think it’ll last me through the week. I cut this morning’s fruit into sixths because I like the way you can pull back the corners of the wedge and the peel just falls off. Good eats.

In my Pre-Calculus class I found out I did a lot better on Monday’s surprise exam than I thought. Rather, everyone else did nearly as bad as I and the curve makes us all look smart. Either way, the B- made me feel better. After class I spent an hour or so in the library working on the homework. It was hard, but it made sense to me by the end. I think I might be finally wrapping my head around the idea of school-as-work-as-something-valuable. About time.

At noon I had an anthropology lecture. Normally this class is pretty dull but today it was engaging. We talked about Bergmann and Allen’s rules about the relationship of volume to surface area in body sizes and proportions.

When I got home I started looking at Google Apps. I think I’m going to pitch it as a better email solution for PAUL. I think it could make a lot of things easier, but there’s still a good amount of research to do.

My last class of the day was a double lab for Manufacturing Processes, from two until eight. We talked about the wide variety of abrasive techniques and tools, from saws to polishes, and were then given plenty of time to work on our assignments. Today I tackled the pin braze. The pin braze is a very simple assignment, the objective is to brass braze some 3/8” round stock steel to a plate with a nice fillet the whole way ‘round.

The way this class works is you get to practice as much as you want for each assignment, but when you think you’re ready to be graded your materials are stamped with your number and you have one shot to get it right. I did a half dozen test pieces before committing to be graded. It was really nice getting to try the same process repeatedly, tweaking one element at a time. Different gas flows on the torch, different size flames, different amount of heat applied to the materials, etc. I was definitely nervous when I did my final graded piece, but it came out really well. The professor said it was one of the best he’s seen and that made me really happy.

The afternoon gave me faith that A) brazing is something I am not doomed to suck at, and B) I can get a lot of satisfaction out of a steady improvement of my technique. Last night Brad and I got together to design the bottom bracket and rear axle fixtures for our frame jig. Tomorrow after work I’m going to talk to Jim about the best way to machine those parts on the manual lathe and mill. It’s all coming together.

For dinner tonight I drank some root beer and some chai, and ate about a dozen cookies. Also, today’s song has been The List by Defiance, Ohio. As Xue said, this song is about everyone’s life, always.

I didn’t know much of the different species of mud before this race. Thankfully the course designers routed us through plenty of shit, and my internal wet-dirt-dictionary has expanded.

Right off the starting line the ground turned to Velcro. The floor of the rodeo was fine grained and rained upon just a few hours earlier, and though it packed down relatively well under a wheel it also tended to fly pretty well of the back of a knobby tire as it was ripped from the ground.

After about a hundred yards the course made a sharrrrp right turn around the end of a fence. Here the ground turned to chocolate pudding, and most riders put a foot down to make their way around, killing much of their speed. My teammate Scott said that on the last few lap he had been able to grab the post at the end of the fence and whip himself around it.

The course then wrapped its way through a series of paddocks behind the announcer’s stage. The ground there was very well fertalized, and I tried to keep my mouth shut.

After seven laps I finished in sixth place of the eight riders in the single speed category. I napped readily on the drive back to Chico, and ate greatly when we reconvened at the brewery.

There are five more races coming up in the next two months, and I am very excited about that.

I love this song about as hard as I can.

I left Chico before the sun had fully risen, and touched down after it finished setting in Boston, where it was bitterly wickedly cold. When I got to Xue’s apartment I was rewarded for braving the airports and the cold with a blindfold, sparkly party hat and the best belated birthday (pan)cake I’ve ever tasted. Also, kisses.

The next day we rode through the city on fendered and salty bikes. We went to museums and gawked at robots that ran, stuffed mammals, machines that moved like birds, and plants made of glass. We both got into MIT and Harvard, but only because they leave their doors unlocked.

When Xue had work I slept. Occasionally I would get up to eat or play with her tiny nylon-stringed guitar, only to fall back into blankets. Eventually I rose to explore the city a little, and to meet her at work.

Part of her job includes performing a variety of tests on patients, and for fun, I had her test me for color blindness. I’ve known for years that I see some deep blues and purples irregularly, but not how else my vision might be divergent from the norm. It turns out that I have common deutan color blindness, which mostly affects my perception of greens. Xue was very entertained “Hey Jono, what color is this?”

We spent most of Friday in bed reading sci-fi eating delicious bread and baked sweet potatoes. In the evening we rode to a potluck and enjoyed even more food and good company.

We took the Chinatown bus to New York on Saturday. All of the bare trees on the side of the highway that we passed were very familiar. and walked across the Manhattan bridge to my cousin’s apartment in Brooklyn.

As a late celebration of my cousin Alden’s birthday we went out with a group to a really fancy restaurant. I tried bacon and pork and steak, and they were all delicious, but I decided to continue my vegetarianism.

The next day my dad and Karen came up from Pennsylvania and we went out to breakfast. The place where we ate had a photo booth, but it stubbornly refused to accept our dollars. So, more iPhone photos of X & I.

That night Xue went to another birthday party in Williamsburg while my dad, Karen, Alden and I went to the home of one of my dad’s old friends from when he was young. More good food was eaten, and stories were told. Afterward I spend about three hours making what should have been a half hour trip to meet up with Xue. I still really don’t know how subways work, but I didn’t die. We made pancakes, danced and sang.

Xue took the bus back to Boston on Monday afternoon, and I flew out of JFK on Tuesday morning, arriving in a rain-soaked Chico in the early afternoon.

it's like 9pm here
i took a three hour nap after getting home from work
and now I'm up and I want to make dinner
i've found this strategy
along with leaving for work at 8am
allows me to NEVER EVER see my room mates
i can pretend I live alone!
except for mysterious things that happen in my apartment
who put the dishes in the sink?
Ghosts
who does all that food in the fridge belong to?
Ghosts

I’ve been living alone since the Fall of 08, and it’s been a pretty fruitful experience. I didn’t lose my mind, I didn’t become a complete hermit. I didn’t keep as tidy as I would like people to think.

On Tuesday I’ll start moving out of my studio and into a house where friends Mica and Trenton live. The two of them are going to be off traveling until the 20th of January or so, giving me time to settle in on my own. Then it’s back to living with the dead.

So I’ve been playing through lots of my own songs and a few covers, trying to figure out what I want to share, trying to figure out what I want to sound like. I play for an audience so very rarely, it’s not something that feels very natural or comfortable for me. I know that being on some kind of stage, real or just symbolic, really messes with me. I get nervous, clammy, forgetful, mumblesome. This wasn’t an issue a few years ago, but now it’s a seemingly incurable malady.

I’d like to blame my nerves on the changing nature of the music I’ve been writing, but I know it’s probably just because I’m out of practice and insecure.

Anyway, here’s a cover I recorded today. It is ‘Up The Wolves’ from The Mountain Goats’ album The Sunset Tree. This album has been sounding really great to me this past week, so I recommend it furiously if you haven’t heard it yet.

Download upthewolx.mp3

The past two Sundays I raced with Team Paul in Folsom and Sacramento, both times in the singlespeed category.

I did about as well as I expected in Folsom, just barely keeping up and only crashing once (dismounting in front of the very first barrier, of course). Lau also raced SS, instead of the B Masters category, and it was really encouraging to make my way around the course just in front of him or on his rear wheel. I ended up taking 7th place and Lau took 8th, owing to one of his brake levers slipping loose and grabbing his rim on the second to last lap.

Last Sunday’s race was at Disco Park in Sac., and was put on by Sacramento Cyclocross. The course was really flat and grass, featuring only one set of barriers and no runups. Of course I managed to crash again, I was coasting in to the corner on one pedal, ready to dismount, when I decided to burn off some speed and grabbed a handful of front brake. Ass over elbows.

(Photo by Jeff.)

I’m not really sure how it happened, but after 45 minutes and I don’t know how many laps, I came in 4th place. Team Paul had a pretty good showing with Paul, Lau, Jeff, Scott and myself racing. Scott and Jeff were racing B Masters, and put on a good show.

Jeff’s set up a Flickr group for Team Paul race photos, so I’ve dumped the rest of my shots from the past two races there.

In addition, there are some other things I’d like to do this weekend.

I’ve borrowed the fancy DSLR from work and hope to take as many photos with it as I can between now and Monday. I also hope to take some more polaroids.

I’m giving one of my bike to my brother, and I need to nail down what work needs to be done to it before I can send it off. I know the rear wheel needs to be brought into line every so slightly, but I’m sure there’s other things that wouldn’t hurt to fix.

On Sunday there’s a CX race in Folsom that I’m heading down to with two other members of “Team” Paul. It’s going to be my fourth race, and looks to be the largest and most legit thus far. I am very excited/intimidated. I hope I don’t fall over too embarassingly.

Last Sunday first CX race, and first time cross dressing. There’s a second or two of me exhausted out of my mind around 3:35. I’m the one in the yellow tank top with the tan skirt, striped socks, and shit-eating grin.

The first lap was terrible fun. I thought if I just held onto the rear wheel in front of me I’d probably be alright, and maybe I could pass some people. The third lap felt like I’d made a huge mistake. I thought if I just sat down and put my head between my knees I wouldn’t pass out, and maybe I wouldn’t vomit. The 4th and 5th lap actually felt alright. Then the 6th lap was finished and it was over. So soon?

I finished somewhere between 2nd and 4th from dead fucking last, which I consider quite a success. The Raleigh rode great for its inaugural ‘cross ride, and the wheels I finished building the night before didn’t explode underneath me. One issue was my gearing though. 46t in the front and 18t in the back is fine for riding around town, but is insufferable on the dirt and damn near impossible on run-ups. I guess that’s why they call them run-ups.

There’s a “TEAM” Paul meeting tomorrow. We’ll be discussing strategies for the rest of the season, and which races we’re going to be heading out to. My main strategy is to swap out to a more reasonable gearing, maybe something like 39tx16t.

Also, Xue’s coming to visit tomorrow. Whoah.